Congratulations, Matt Holliday... you're joining the list of players on the disabled list.
You didn't take a line drive like Roy Oswalt and make Phillies fans wonder if they were really going to have the best pitching lineup ever - at least this year (and let's be honest, when the Phillies couldn't pull yesterday out until the end of the game, I'm sure the Phillies might have been wondering that as well - thank you injuries to Chase Utley and Brad Lidge).
You weren't abused by the Mets like Pedro Feliciano before the Yankees picked him up and saw him end up on the DL, too. In this, at least you didn't have Brian Cashman firing harsh invectives across the 5 boroughs at your old team to fan the dying embers of a crosstown rivalry that isn't anymore (not that it ever really was, but still).
You didn't just cut a cuticle and end up with a cruddy start to your 2011 season like Ubaldo Jimenez and make people wonder how much of a fluke the beginning of 2010 really was when he won 15 games by July and couldn't get 5 more by October 1.
You didn't end up mysteriously brain damaged (and still entertaining) like Ozzie Guillen, who always finds a way to bitch and complain about the world and his luck in it (being forced to play in the snow storms of Cleveland), but who still stays successful and employed in the Second City when his team bashes out 15 runs against an Indians team that came out stomping with 10 runs of their own.
You're not a Giants fan in critical condition after getting the tar kicked out of you by Dodgers fans in the parking lot after your team crapped the bed for Tim Lincecum in the first game back in defense of your World Series victory - the first victory since your team played in New York.
You're not Mat Latos, starting the season on the DL after you kept your team in contention all 2010 - despite the fact that most critics wrote your team off in the middle of 2009.
You're not 2/5 of the A's supposedly impressive starting rotation who are sitting out the beginning of the 2011 seasons with a variety of injuries as the team still is forced to play out what will inevitably amount to a lot of losses - like the one last night to King Felix.
No, you're just joining a lot of other players on the DL due to an appendectomy, which beats a lot of other injuries since it's very real and not like Sammy Sosa sleeping on his arm wrong before the 1998 All Star Game.
In this, we wish you well and hope that you get back to the game soon.