Randal from Clerks said it best about it being "so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there? (especially Terry Francona, Theo Epstein, and the rest of the Boston management that has the Red Sox in this predicament), and as Jarrod Saltalamacchia finds himself demoted (can the soup line be far behind, and if it is, do you get a hat like that with it?), we have to wonder... how long until Theo and Terry find themselves deported from Red Sox Nation to the fumaroles of Antarctica?
So in honor of the general suckiness of the former Red Sox catcher, let us take a look at who in the world of bat and ball (to include women's softball) is having a better day than Jarrod Saltalamacchia (.194 and 5 RBIs).
It's too bad that Buster Posey's little sister Samantha, a Valdosta State product, can't catch in the bigs... she just walloped the home run cycle (solo, 1 run, 2 run, grand slam) in a double header. Yep... power like that tops a average.
The Blue Jays came back against Mariano Rivera. I may have lost fantasy points, but I'll take it for that. Any time you beat the best closer in the game, it's a good feeling.
If you're the Brew Crew, you're happy today after beating up on Roy Halladay and playing competitive with Cliff Lee in a potential warm up battle for the playoffs to come.
If you're Pablo Sandoval, you're happy because you aren't on the bench and half way through April, you have 5 jacks (8 short of last year's disappointing total - when he truly was a Kung Fu Panda, but not anymore). Seeing as he basically lost my 5-year old nephew in weight from his tubby body (not that I'm one to talk about tubby bodies, but I'm not a star athlete either), he's back to being productively sick on the base paths.
If you're Jerry Sands, you're happy to be called up and playing for the Los Angeles Dodgers and even happier as your first 2 games result in a 2 game-hitting streak with 2 RBIs. That's 40% of Jarrod Saltalamacchia's season total, and fortunately, nobody is counting on Sands to throw out runners or tame the savage Wacky Lackey.
If you're Josh Johnson, you're happy to be facing Pittsburgh and shutting them down for 7 innings on 9 whiffs as you win again and continue to be the most dominant pitcher of the month - at least in the other league of Dan Haren.
If you're Ubaldo Jimenez, at least you're happy to be back - even if you still lost the game. Playing is better than sitting on the bench any day.
And for that, April may be T.S. Eliot's cruelest month, and this day one of its most heinous days of all (up there with the 14th for the death of Lincoln and the Titanic - today being Hitler's birthday and Columbine), but for some (Matt Kemp), April is the time to start off with a statistical bang.
For the embattled Boston Red Sox, it's like Monday's 105th anniversary of the great San Francisco Fire. The world is collapsing everywhere and there's nothing we can do. When can the rebuilding come? What must we sacrifice to do it? How long can we wait for the next chance for a World Series victory? Will this wait bring back chants of 1918 - if 1918 can even be called a real victory in light of Eddie Cicotte's comments... or should we just let the vague notes of a historic cheat burn on the fire for what they are or they aren't?
Yes... April has so much potential (my wife and sister's birthday), but it has so much sadness (Waco and Oklahoma City, whose anniversaries of mass carnage was yesterday).
Somewhere between the rain and the sunshine, there are flowers growing and beauty abounds, but alas... we can only wonder what else is to come.