John Axford

Ugly is as ugly does. We can start with normality and hope and all that is the beginning of a season. Just ask Lou Boudreau... "it's all future and no past on the first game of the season - unless your first game is a massive bed crapping that leads to the Reds winning not only that game, but the next 4 games. Eventually, their win streak was stopped at 5, but not before the guy who got it all going with a 3-run jack grounded out to end the game.
What a difference a week makes.
However, for Boston, the first week was all the same... crap, crap, and more crap from their big guns doing nothing to drive in runs and from their pitchers doing nothing to prevent runs from being driven in. As a result, the unthinkable was said, so if you felt a rift in the space time continuum, it was because I stated that I hoped that the Red Sox go 0-20... whatever it takes to get Terry Francona fired. And as they are playing the Yankees in New England this weekend, getting swept by the Yankees at home would go a long way to landing Terry Francona in a soup kitchen line. If he could take Epstein with him, we'd be willing to see the Red Sox turn into the Cleveland Spiders all over again (or worse).
Ugly is as ugly becomes.
Our continuing hatred towards Bleacher Report is about to get serious. Today, they continued the Ace Ventura talking out of their ass by suggesting that the Cardinals trade Albert Pujols. While it sounds like a good idea to get players, there's a little thing called "no trade clause," and for that and for being a reputable baseball website... we can only ask how BLEEPING stupid that they really are. Stick to wives and girlfriends slide shows, guys. Your baseball coverage sucks.
Perhaps, instead of talking about ugliness that results from a decision to try to replace Rollie Fingers as the man with the most unique facial hair ever, we should focus solely on positive stats and accomplishments like Nelson Cruz's 4 dingers in his first 4 games to show up as a latter day Mark McGwire / Willie Mays, but while there are crimes against common sense, there must be a different discussion. And to this, we note that there has been a return to ironic facial hair by some of the games "hipper" players (and their pathetically worthless unhip cousins), there is a reality that this isn't the 1970s, and this isn't Oakland and the Brewers aren't owned by Charles Finley, so... let's get with the world that is 2011.
And for that John Axford... damn, you are not a pretty man. Your pitching isn't much prettier, but despite a crappy opening day, you've racked up 2 saves and dropped your season ERA to 10.80, which is the result of one bad game, but still... you're not the man I would want closing my games.
With that being said, it's only a matter of time until the Red Sox pick him up to stem the flood of runs that are coming in to devastate Boston's season and to have them end up in last place.
Good thing that misery loves company, and it loves it all the more with a Red Sox reject leading the charge against futility.