Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Baltimore went to New York last night to test their season against the Yankees and find out just how real that they are. They got rained out. Shame that Boston didn't get rained out. Once again, the Rays came in and whooped on them. It wasn't a 16-5 drubbing at the hands of Daisuke Matsuzaka, but losing a heartbreaker to David Price (3-2) is just as bad and does nothing to propel themselves up the division in any hope for contention. Thus, in honor of Daisuke's gyroball that doesn't live up to the hype of what we were all supposed to fear, I am going to create a list of 10 things that I really do fear more than the gyroball. 1. That monkey from Toy Story 3. Fantastic movie by the way... Lotso and Big Baby were pretty scary, too - as was Ken's handwriting. 2. Being in the attic alone. Ever since I was a kid and my dad convinced me that a ghost lived in the cooby hole (a crawl in closet that you store stuff in), I have been paranoid about the attic. Let's just say that it scared my nieces and nephews as well since they don't have attics in their houses. 3. Since said ghost was a guy who fell off the enclosed porch, I'm also deathly afraid of heights. 4. Noises in the night from downstairs... it might be Hazel (our resident ghost who threw up the blind in our bedroom at 2am the first night that we were in the house) or it might be thug kids breaking in. 5. Not having music to listen to. I wouldn't want to live in a world without music. 6. Having a daughter singing along with Ke$ha. Having a daughter someday and having her want to look like Ke$ha. Having a daughter and having her want to act like Ke$ha. Having a son impregnate someone like Ke$ha and to end up chained to her for life via child support payments and split custody for the rest of that child's natural life. 7. To lose my mental and physical faculties and be dependant on someone else for support the rest of my life. To have that person be an untrained slacker / loser making $10 or so an hour to pretend to care about me would make it even scarier still. 8. Knowing that Obama is in charge of security and economy and future for my country. Knowing that despite his incompetence, the best that people can do to create reason for him not to be there is that his birth certificate was supposedly faked, which is both assinine and desperate. 9. Losing my wife to a tragic accident or old age or just not having her around. It's hard to want to live in a world without the person that you truly love. 10. Having to eat broccoli, cauliflower, brussel sprouts, or any salad like vegetables. Let it be known that I can out wait any person trying or expecting me to eat any leafy vegetable that there is. Oh yes... it ain't happening. That said, I fear tsunamis on the Pacific Coast more than Daisuke's gyroball and I live in Pennsylvania. I fear the Care Bears more than Matsuzaka. In short, there is nothing I fear LESS than the gyroball, which will forever be linked to the most over-hyped foreign import in the history of sports - and I remember Hideki Irabu.