Theo Epstein

There are many ways that people can leave a club. For example, Shaq and Kobe hated each other's guts and traded insults until Shaq left Eagle, Colorado's least favorite visitor in Los Angeles, and went on to a progressively extended career with stops in Miami, Boston, Cleveland, and Phoenix. In the end, he was a lovable guy who's contributions to cell phone commercials and stopping online predators far outweighed his performance on the basketball court or in the studio. Maybe he didn't know when to leave. Maybe he believed that a high field goal percentage from shots really close to the basket constituted greatness... we'll never know or really care at this website, but all the same, it's sad to see someone who defined the game as much as he did leave it.
And if Daisuke Matsuzaka is bidding adieu to Boston in order to get Tommy John Surgery, his last game on May 16th, a game where he let up 5 runs in 4.1 innings with 2 strikeouts and 5 hits to go with his 7 WALKS is a fitting end to a mistake that Theo Epstein made by bidding $51,111,111 just to deal with Matsuzaka. Sure, we were hyped up with the talk of the gyro ball and the 150 pitches a game and the World Baseball Classic performance, but in the end, if he was great, and we're definitely not saying he wasn't, let it be known that a fish out of water in a major media town is a recipe for disaster. Boston's courting of Hideki Okajima to be Matsuzaka's wingman seemed like an OK move... until it all went south with spot relief and holding pattern usage taking him to an ERA that is north of 4. Boston sent him down to AAA Pawtucket, and we forgot about the 2007 All Star appearance and the terrible post seasons in 2007 and 2008 because we knew that he wouldn't be around much longer.
And Daisuke was all alone to face the hate of a manager who really doesn't manage and a town who expects a hell of a lot from all of their players, but why shouldn't they? Matsuzaka cleared $51million for 6 years that saw him go 49 and 30 on a team that was really good for pretty much all of those years. Sure, he has a 6th year to come, but Tommy John Surgery isn't quick, and let's be honest, if it takes a year to 18 months to recover, it's not like he's going to be flame throwing AL East competition.
Instead, he'll be recuperating in Japan or wherever he chooses to go. The Red Sox won't be able to deal him, and they'll eat the last $20million for this year and next year and have less interest in picking up Asian players after the debacle of their last few (ok, so Hideki Nomo did have a no hitter in game 2 of 2011 against the Orioles, but other than that...
And it's a shame, but we can't all be Ichiro or Godzilla.

Bill Bergen

Andre Ethier part 2... oh, how the mightily above average have fallen.
The streak hits 30 and stops there.
So it goes.
But alas, when one gets thirty games in a row, that's the mark of success, but when one fails 46 times in a row and has a career average of .170, that's the mark of futility.
I guess you can call him the 2011 Jason Varitek of his day. He was a good backstop that called the game well, but in the end... he never hit above .200. Too bad because he never had a George Brett character (or Bruce Bochte and Tom Paciorek) to playfully create a Mendoza Line in the stats to remember him by.
From 1901-1911, he played the game and finished with no seasons above the Mendoza Line. He hit 2 home runs in his storied career, and while that may have got him some lovin' from the ladies, I'm sure it made a couple of pitchers want to jump off of the Brooklyn Bridge. The first of these was in his rookie year with the Reds, and the second one was 8 years later with the Brooklyn Superbas whose legend is almost as lost as Bergen's is.
Nevertheless, he is the epitome of failure in major league history, and that is saying something. Maybe with that being said, his backstop ability to call pitches is better than that of Jarrod Saltalamacchia, whose non-ability just continues to amaze all who wonder how Boston could be so free spending on everyone from Daisuke Matsuzaka to Wacky Lackey and not pony up for someone with more upside than "if he works out, the sub 7 figure contract will seem like a bargain and make up for the adventure story that is played every time Daisuke gets to 2 strikes and can't close the deal.
Yep... Bergen was something in his day, and perhaps it was an act of niceness that he stuck around. Compared to Mark Reynolds' over-priced and high strikeout self (or Austin Jackson for that matter), Bergen's one in 7 K rate for a career is still better than 1 every 3 or less for some of the free swinging no power hitters of 2011. Granted, he's not Ted Williams (27) or Joe Dimaggio (13) in 1941, but we can't always have a choice to choose between the .400 guy or the guy with 56 games in a row (or 74/75 games that he hit in).
But if Ethier is our mark of success, let us wish him well. If he's a flash in the pan... this year's Willie Tavarez, at least he topped it out and got to 30 games.
That is saying something.

Daisuke Matsuzaka

Baltimore went to New York last night to test their season against the Yankees and find out just how real that they are. They got rained out. Shame that Boston didn't get rained out. Once again, the Rays came in and whooped on them. It wasn't a 16-5 drubbing at the hands of Daisuke Matsuzaka, but losing a heartbreaker to David Price (3-2) is just as bad and does nothing to propel themselves up the division in any hope for contention. Thus, in honor of Daisuke's gyroball that doesn't live up to the hype of what we were all supposed to fear, I am going to create a list of 10 things that I really do fear more than the gyroball. 1. That monkey from Toy Story 3. Fantastic movie by the way... Lotso and Big Baby were pretty scary, too - as was Ken's handwriting. 2. Being in the attic alone. Ever since I was a kid and my dad convinced me that a ghost lived in the cooby hole (a crawl in closet that you store stuff in), I have been paranoid about the attic. Let's just say that it scared my nieces and nephews as well since they don't have attics in their houses. 3. Since said ghost was a guy who fell off the enclosed porch, I'm also deathly afraid of heights. 4. Noises in the night from downstairs... it might be Hazel (our resident ghost who threw up the blind in our bedroom at 2am the first night that we were in the house) or it might be thug kids breaking in. 5. Not having music to listen to. I wouldn't want to live in a world without music. 6. Having a daughter singing along with Ke$ha. Having a daughter someday and having her want to look like Ke$ha. Having a daughter and having her want to act like Ke$ha. Having a son impregnate someone like Ke$ha and to end up chained to her for life via child support payments and split custody for the rest of that child's natural life. 7. To lose my mental and physical faculties and be dependant on someone else for support the rest of my life. To have that person be an untrained slacker / loser making $10 or so an hour to pretend to care about me would make it even scarier still. 8. Knowing that Obama is in charge of security and economy and future for my country. Knowing that despite his incompetence, the best that people can do to create reason for him not to be there is that his birth certificate was supposedly faked, which is both assinine and desperate. 9. Losing my wife to a tragic accident or old age or just not having her around. It's hard to want to live in a world without the person that you truly love. 10. Having to eat broccoli, cauliflower, brussel sprouts, or any salad like vegetables. Let it be known that I can out wait any person trying or expecting me to eat any leafy vegetable that there is. Oh yes... it ain't happening. That said, I fear tsunamis on the Pacific Coast more than Daisuke's gyroball and I live in Pennsylvania. I fear the Care Bears more than Matsuzaka. In short, there is nothing I fear LESS than the gyroball, which will forever be linked to the most over-hyped foreign import in the history of sports - and I remember Hideki Irabu.

Clay Bucholz

Winning 2 games in a weekend series against the Yankees is cause for celebration UNLESS you come out of the weekend 2and7. Then, you still need to assess the failings and contemplate the future without some of the dead spots in the lineup. Sure, the first week of the season isn't reason to hit the panic button, but you can lose a season in April even if you can't win one before the final stretch run winds to a complete standstill and playoff tickets are truly punched (ask the 2010 San Diego Padres). So what do the Red Sox and their anemic pitching staff do: They give Clay Bucholz a mega contract. (according to ESPN) The contract calls for Buchholz to be paid $3.5 million in 2012, $5.5 million in 2013, $7.7 million in 2014, and $12 million in 2015, according to the source. With a modest signing bonus and buyout language, the contract guarantees him $29,945,000, a major league source said. Both option years call for a salary of $13 million, although there is an escalator clause that could push the second option year to $13.5 million. So let's see what exactly he's being rewarded for - 4 runs in 3.2 innings (Nolan Ryan would not be proud) and a 7.20 ERA for the season. Sure, the first game was close, but this game... not so much as the Yankees won a laugher 9-4. Then again, let's look at the Boston Red Sox great sewer of waste that makes the US budget debate that sees America wondering if our governmnet will be shut down AGAIN seem tame by comparison. After crapping the bed at the beginning of last year, Josh Beckett got 4 years and $68 million. Of course, this is because the rapidly imploding John Lackey stol $82.5 million over 5 years. Jon Lester is signed through 2013 with an option for $13 million in 2014 with $30 million over 5 years. The great waste of a green card that is Daisuke Matsuzaka convinced the Red Sox to shell out $52 million for 6 years. This doesn't include the $51,111,111 negotiating fee that Theo Epstein and crew paid to negotiate with his agents to bring his ink to the contract. But it's all about the cause for celebration at the moment... and last night, the Red Sox got 16 base runners in a 4-0 win against the Yankees on a great game by Josh Beckett. Never mind that they teed off on CC Sabathia's lard ass (9 hits, 4 walks over 5.2 innings) in a way that managed to scare more fans than Matsuzaka ever could, but yeah... a win is a win, even if the game was still 1-0 at the end of the 6th and required opening a can of whoop ass on Joba the Hutt's rapidly waiver ready self. Fortunately, the Red Sox come out of their weekend of rescuing their worst season since Harry Truman was in the White House with a series with the Tampa Bay Rays, who are now 1-8 and in no position to do much with Evan Longoria out and the promise of Manny Ramirez up in smoke (or PEDs). With any luck, that might help them move up the list as they chase after a hot Baltimore team (even if they did lose 2 of 3 to the RED HOT Rangers who are 8-1 and looking to avenge their failing to win the World Series last year). And so continues week 2 of the season.

Terry Francona

While I watched a little bit of the Giants vs. the Dodgers on Thursday, I hadn't really gotten to truly sit down and watch baseball until last night. Unfortunately, being a Boston fan, my worst fears were realized as the Red Sox pitching was taken to the woodshed like a red-headed stepchild on a Sunday afternoon. Wacky Lackey let up 9 runs in less than 4 innings to a Texas team that just slams the ball around with total disregard for whatever pre-season rank that the team that they are playing against is supposed to have. Sure, Nelson Cruz, Josh Hamilton, Ian Kinsler, Adrian Beltre, and Michael Young (not playing yesterday) can really drive the ball, but Elvis Andrus was even 3 for 5. Yorvit Torrealba had a home run, and before it was done, the game was 12-3, though Jacoby Ellsbury had his first long ball since 2009 (he was out all of 2010).
And in the end, the decisions of Terry Francona ALWAYS come back to haunt the team. In the 4th inning, he walked Hamilton to load the bases for Beltre, and WHAM! (an excellent expression of onomatopoeia if ever there was one), grand slam and the Ballpark at Arlington is screaming and it's a celebration that Kool and the Gang would be proud of (because they are celebrating good times in Texas - it's not like the days of 3 and done in the division series against the Yankees as Juan Gone and Pudge aren't enough against the Yankees in da Bronx and there are no Texas pitchers who can withstand whatever onslaught is brought out against them.
This Texas team is for real, and Boston, while only 2 games in, is suffering from what I knew they would - a better pitching staff on paper than in reality.
The night before, Jon Lester gave up 3 home runs for the first time in his career. Mike Napoli and Kinsler each had one, and Nelson Cruz hit the first of his two home runs, so he's off to another sick OPS early season - as long as he doesn't get hurt.
Today is Clay Bucholz, who does have an upside, but as the week progresses, we get to wonder which Josh Beckett we'll see. I don't know if I believe in him. I do know that I have from time to time, but I don't go into the game easy - it's not as bad as the Daisuke adventure experience that sees a pitcher able to throw 150 pitches a game - mainly because he throws so many damn outside pitches that do result in walks or near walks. It's also not the knuckle ball of Tim Wakefield that baffles some hitters and leaves others (Cruz) to deposit it far behind the outfield wall. It's a pitcher who has been figured out and injured and beaten. For all of the heroics, there are too many questions.
And for that, it's hard to have a leader who sits calm in the dugout doing what Theo tells him. A man who is still around because Curt Schilling wanted him there and he's still there because Boston happened to win it all in 2004 and 2007, much the same was as Ozzie Guillen is because he won for the first time since 1919 when he took his title in 2005.
Sure, it's nice to see Big Sluggi hit a home run in both his first and second game so we don't have to wait forever for him to get started offensively. Sure, he hit a home run last year on April 23rd, but he was sub Mendoza until May 10. The year before, his first home run came May 20th, but he didn't press so hard and he was over Mendoza for good on April 20th. A notoriously slow starter, David Ortiz has seen better days, and once again, he's someone whose personality exceeds his current abilities. But that said, people not named Terry Francona are wising up to it. he's also looking pathetic in striking out (twice already - it's not the league lead - 5 - but it's not a good sign when he can't see how over the plate his called whiffs are). Jay Z for one is not putting up with the Sluggster stealing his intellectual property.
And this is not to say that David Ortiz wasn't once the hero, but it is saying that he didn't deserve an All Star appearance last year - hell, he didn't deserve a thank you contract in 2011. He needs to retire to greener pastures and get on with phase 2 of his adult life.
But that would involve a certain manager who can't make his own decision benching him.
And if that manager can't keep big name pitchers who have seen better days not getting huge contracts and not getting new life blood into the Boston pitching staff, you can bet that it's going to be a long season.

Gil Meche

It was passed on to me from one of my friends that Gil Meche threw his $12million salary for 2011 back to Kansas City because, “When I signed my contract, my main goal was to earn it. Once I started to realize I wasn’t earning my money, I felt bad. I was making a crazy amount of money for not even pitching. Honestly, I didn’t feel like I deserved it. I didn’t want to have those feelings again.”
While it's a badge of honor, it's not like not taking the $12million leaves him applying for welfare. Also, according to NBC, "Meche made more than $50 million playing baseball, with most coming in the five-year, $55 million deal he signed with the Royals after leaving the Mariners."
And so today, we have to think about all of those albatross deals that take down a team forever as they sign a player that they can no longer afford. Vernon Wells who left Toronto for Anaheim, the only city desperate enough for him. Michael Young, who is still good, but who has become obsolete in Texas is awaiting to see where he will end up... Toronto perhaps. Moving through the connections, we think back to how Alex Rodriguez sank the Texas Rangers ship to be the highest paid player in baseball.
Thinking back, we can remember Carlos Lee, Denny Neagle, Mike Hampton, Juan Gonzalez, Kevin Millwood, Derek Bell, Hideki Irabu, Carl Pavano, Mo Vaughn, Barry Zito, Albert Belle, Gary Matthews, Alfonso Soriano, Kevin Brown, Travis Hafner, Daisuke Matsuzaka (I want the money back from the shirt and jersey I bought, too, Daisuke; you suck, and I just want to say that I know the reason why you threw so many pitches in Japan, too - your walks and WHIP).
Few players give back the way Gil Meche or Mark McGwire did when they realize that the end has come and they're still on the hook for a lot of money. It shows that they're going out like a class act instead of an ass crack.
Yep.
These lists could go on all night and they do. You just have to look for them.
And for that, we still believe that there is hope in Kansas City - if they invest the right way for the future. Let's be honest... the now is dead in western Missouri.