Adam Dunn

It's 10 days or so until the All Star Game, which is usually reserved as the halfway point of baseball. However, the official halfway point is now gone, and where are we? What do we have to say about the baseball season that truly sums it up?
In the 10th year of his career, Adam Dunn was a high stakes big money free agent that was supposed to get 40 big swings despite the fact that his average wouldn't be "great" and he would strike out a lot.
What did Ozzie Guillen and the White Sox get? Ozzie got even more high blood pressure than normal, which definitely causes him to tell it like it is and to have baseball columnists wonder why he's still in management (though I have to say that I think he's awesome). The White Sox got a .171 hitter in 234 at bats (he's seriously challenging Dan Uggla for futile zero of the year).
For the 7 home runs that they bought with $12million (ok - $6million since it's the first half of the season), they got 100 strike outs. While that's good enough for 2nd place (Drew Stubbs is still in first place with 112 - there's no catching abject futility, is there), there's a sign around Mudville (located on the otherside of Wrigleyville) that Chicago isn't going to be represented in the post season and next year will be another rebuilding year for both the south and the north side.
So while a player that should be hitting in 4 at bats every game for the first 85ish games could be doing some damage, he's getting about 2/3 of the at bats he could be getting because he's a liability. When you look at the facts - 1732 punched outs in 1517 games for his career - you see danger to the playing and the rooting and the paying. It's clear as day, but now he's an albatross for the White Sox. He's got 4 years and $56million to go for Obama's team, so we have to wonder... when will Ozzie crack and start kicking Dunn's ass like it was a catcher's mask?
On the other side of the Second City, there's Carlos Pena, who pretty much sucked all year, but is at least a little better lately. He's got 76 whiffs in 251 at bats. He's carrying a .219 average (.171 for the last week, mind you). He does at least have 17 home runs in the homey capacity of Wrigley, with it's wind blowing out in these nice summer days (the kind of thing which helps our favorite steroids mirages transcend from attitude to baseball altitude until they're asked to answer questions on the witness stand, eh Sammy Sosa).
Texas, Detroit, Oakland, Boston, Tampa Bay... and the Cubs... they're all trying and have tried to figure out what to do with a problem like Carlos in the same way that the White Sox are joining the Reds, Diamondbacks, and the Nationals in dealing with a problem like Adam.
At some point, baseball is going to say that we can't all be Rob Deer. We can't flirt with the Mendoza Line all year and hope that it will get better... especially when the home runs aren't clearing the walls... especially when the player needs to ride the bench to figure it out or because he is a liability.
It's times like this that the defensive play of David Ortiz... you know... he who isn't a true player because he can't make Terry Francona bench Mike Cameron or Darnell McDonald in favor of moving Adrian Gonzalez to the outfield in order to get Big Sluggi's 4 at bats in (at .300 batting average, mind you) actually seems like it's an over rated thing. Mind you - the fact Francona wouldn't play him all of the inter-league games - that's scary because once you get past Jacoby Ellsbury in the outfield, Boston pretty much sucks. JD Drew is fortunately about to get his unconditional retirement for the purpose of never letting Philadelphia fans chuck D cell batteries at him from the 600 level of Veterans Stadium again (in retrospect, the anger should have been celebration - other than the first September he played in 1998, he was pretty much hype over hall of fame).
So this brings us to the question - what is a baseball player supposed to be?
While many players look to crack the leagues, some veterans hold down spots just because. Other players play half of the game, although they do that well, and make us wonder about the logic of inter-league or the DH (or Astroturf - oops, I've come unstuck in time again). And maybe we wonder about other things, too, like a home run derby that will be shockingly devoid of names and power because the big boppers only bop, so they won't make it and the big names will probably opt out because they'll be too afraid to hurt themselves in a meaningless "exhibition" game.
Which only makes us wonder... what's wrong with this game today?

Osama Bin Laden

Ten years ago, I went to sleep after watching the end of the 8th inning of the 2001 World Series. That was the World Series when the Yankees were playing to win back happiness from the depths of post 9/11 depression that existed in NYC. I'm not a Yankees fan, and I never thought about that aspect during the series - just that they wouldn't 4peat. When I woke up, I found that they lost and I was in jubiliation at the Diamondbacks victory. I made sure that I made any Yankee fan who crossed my path suffer for Rivera's defeat at the hands of Luis Gonzalez's bloop single. In the end, I never thought I could wake up to better news.
About 2 weeks ago, I watched 9 Innings at Ground Zero and was visibly moved by the aspect of baseball bringing America together (from Bush's World Series first pitch to Jeter's heroics to the Mets captivating America by making a run for their own pennant). Much of it is very powerful. It's actually impossibly to watch without tears, but it takes us back to an America that hasn't existed since the great partisan divide of the Iraq War (for better or for worse).
Today, I woke up to much better news - Osama was dead. It turned out that if I stayed up another half hour or so, I would have heard the news as the reporters broke into it. Nevertheless, I wanted to shout "USA, USA, USA" like the hordes of joyous celebration at West Point, in the subways, in Times Square, and from the Philadelphia / Mets game. It was about 615 and my wife was still asleep, but I wanted to wake her up to tell her, but she still had about an hour before her alarm clock was set to go off, so I split it down the middle and told her at 645. When I did, she asked me if something was wrong, and all I could say was "we killed Bin Laden. The most wanted terrorist in the world was now dead, and everything had changed. The air of celebrations hit home. And with that, in many ways, it was like America came together again - save a few comments from anonymous You Tube posters and the like speculating conspiracy or judging whether it was hypocritcal to kill a mass murderer for murdering our people.
In the hindsight of a million news stories, I have to admit that there were times that I wondered if we'd ever get him. Years and years of wondering why Bush was failing and finally Obama made it a point to get him, and somehow, we got the intel to make it happen, and I have to say that I'm just glad that we did.
In the classes that I taught today, we briefly looked at all of the headlines from all of the major news sources, the blog sites (Huffington Post and Townhall), and Al Jazeera (Arab news network). It's interesting to see the difference, to see the words of Obama (we watched him on You Tube), and to contemplate what Bush would have done. It's amazing to think about how things have changed, and as I sit here, there are scary things, too.
I called my parents to tell them it happened, and they knew. My mom was reflecting on how they're quacks over there and would do something while wondering about the need for celebration ("but this was how it was at the end of World War 2"). I know that there will be some semblance of retaliation. We must be ever vigilant to that... we're not in a 9/10 world anymore, but that said... there is something powerful about the moment... the change.
Ayman al-Zawahiri is still out there. There are plenty of lunatics ready to make jihad and suffering on the West. The war has not been won (or lost) and yet there are people who will contemplate what we should do now that Bin Laden has finally died.
Sometimes, the world just becomes too real for sports. One has to wonder about all of the changes and events of the weekend and stop and think... to find time to enjoy the simple things, but all the same, to pause and reflect and remember our history and our future.
And to remain ever mindful.

Roger McDowell

On Seinfeld, he was the 2nd spitter. Sure, Hernandez was upset at Kramer razzing him, but it definitely wasn't a magic loogie!
In baseball, he was a career .500 pitcher, but he did post a 3.30 ERA for his career that ran from 1985-1996. That has to say something. He also had a fair bit of saves, and while they are baseball's most over-rated statistic EVER, he did have a purpose when he played.
As the Atlanta pitching coach, he was tasked with making the team resemble that of the late eighties and nineties. However, instead, he took a couple of hecklers to task in ways that were homophobic and threatening. They were so degrading that do-nothing commissioner Bud Selig did something - suspend McDowell for 2 weeks, give him sensitivity training, and agree to have him personally apologize to one fan and his family.
To this, we have 2 thoughts:
1) don't be an asshole.
2) don't be an asshole back.
I learned a long time ago that you can't win in a confrontational argument. If you're a professional, you have to act like one. Look at former President Bush and the fact that he had to deal with people wearing Kill Bush T-shirts. Sarah Palin and John McCain were brought together for sex pictures during their run for president (as was Obama and Hillary). When you're a public figure, you get this stuff... like it or not. You're manhood isn't in question when drunken yahoos are shouting insults at you. Play through and ignore them. It's part of the game.
Sadly, this isn't the first time that the Atlanta Braves have had to face the consequences on some redneck comments by one of their pitchers. Who can forget John Rocker, who screwed up so badly that even Twisted Sister got upset at him and refused to let him come out to their song anymore.
Now, don't get me wrong. I get the call for him to be fired for insensitivity unparalleled, and as we learned on Glee last night, once the toothpaste is out of the container, it doesn't go back in, but there's something else... the right to earn a living.
Is McDowell competent enough to pitch or be a pitching coach? Is firing him going to permanently keep him from getting hired again (and thus being a ward of the state)? Aren't we supposed to be punishing people so they learn from their mistakes?
Because if we can't allow them to learn from their mistakes, then why not just feed them to the sharks?
To be honest, I'm sure a lot of people would like to see him eaten by Jaws.

Daisuke Matsuzaka

Baltimore went to New York last night to test their season against the Yankees and find out just how real that they are. They got rained out. Shame that Boston didn't get rained out. Once again, the Rays came in and whooped on them. It wasn't a 16-5 drubbing at the hands of Daisuke Matsuzaka, but losing a heartbreaker to David Price (3-2) is just as bad and does nothing to propel themselves up the division in any hope for contention. Thus, in honor of Daisuke's gyroball that doesn't live up to the hype of what we were all supposed to fear, I am going to create a list of 10 things that I really do fear more than the gyroball. 1. That monkey from Toy Story 3. Fantastic movie by the way... Lotso and Big Baby were pretty scary, too - as was Ken's handwriting. 2. Being in the attic alone. Ever since I was a kid and my dad convinced me that a ghost lived in the cooby hole (a crawl in closet that you store stuff in), I have been paranoid about the attic. Let's just say that it scared my nieces and nephews as well since they don't have attics in their houses. 3. Since said ghost was a guy who fell off the enclosed porch, I'm also deathly afraid of heights. 4. Noises in the night from downstairs... it might be Hazel (our resident ghost who threw up the blind in our bedroom at 2am the first night that we were in the house) or it might be thug kids breaking in. 5. Not having music to listen to. I wouldn't want to live in a world without music. 6. Having a daughter singing along with Ke$ha. Having a daughter someday and having her want to look like Ke$ha. Having a daughter and having her want to act like Ke$ha. Having a son impregnate someone like Ke$ha and to end up chained to her for life via child support payments and split custody for the rest of that child's natural life. 7. To lose my mental and physical faculties and be dependant on someone else for support the rest of my life. To have that person be an untrained slacker / loser making $10 or so an hour to pretend to care about me would make it even scarier still. 8. Knowing that Obama is in charge of security and economy and future for my country. Knowing that despite his incompetence, the best that people can do to create reason for him not to be there is that his birth certificate was supposedly faked, which is both assinine and desperate. 9. Losing my wife to a tragic accident or old age or just not having her around. It's hard to want to live in a world without the person that you truly love. 10. Having to eat broccoli, cauliflower, brussel sprouts, or any salad like vegetables. Let it be known that I can out wait any person trying or expecting me to eat any leafy vegetable that there is. Oh yes... it ain't happening. That said, I fear tsunamis on the Pacific Coast more than Daisuke's gyroball and I live in Pennsylvania. I fear the Care Bears more than Matsuzaka. In short, there is nothing I fear LESS than the gyroball, which will forever be linked to the most over-hyped foreign import in the history of sports - and I remember Hideki Irabu.

Christy Mathewson

In 1986, America got sick of Khadaffy and his antics, which stapled him in blame to the German disco bombing that wounded over 200 people while killing 2 Americans and a Turkish woman. Ronald Reagan ended weeks of debate with the decision to level Libya for their actions and came within minutes of ending the Colonel once and for all in an action that came to be called El Dorado Canyon. Unfortunately, Air Force troops Fernando L. Ribas-Dominicci and Paul F. Lorence were killed when their plane was shot down in the attack.
Two years later, Libya was back in action when Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi began his actions that got him convicted for killing over 270 people in the Lockerbie bombing that took a jumbo jet right out of the sky. Two years ago, the British people gave him up. What Obama did or did not know aside, al-Megrahi went on to live his life free and suddenly not as terminal in the state of his cancer, but as the bombings of Libya began, we came to understand that he was apparently fingering Khadaffy for green lighting the terrorist attack.
Today, another American plane has crashed in Libya, and it's hard to think about baseball when the world is so confused and torn, so instead, I dedicate this post to the memories of Americans who have served and done what they had to do. And since this is baseball, I choose to focus on some of the baseball players who gave their lives and careers to the military.
Obviously, there was Ted Williams, Bob Feller, Hank Greenberg, and Joe Dimaggio, but there was Stan Musial and Monte Irvin. These were guys who went because they felt compelled to. They were men who were forced by circumstances to go. They were men who felt solidarity with fighting the Anti-Semitism of the time, at home and abroad.
But in World War 1, the most famous American baseball player to die was Eddie Grant of the Reds. Most American players worked in essential services when the league shut down, but some trained for future combat. These were men like Ty Cobb, Branch Rickey, and Christy Mathewson. In a training session for preparation for the chemical warfare attacks that were all too commonplace in the European theater, Christy inhaled poisonous mustard gas and he was never the same. The feeling of sputtering and coughing as his lungs inhaled the brutal mixture ended the career of one of the greatest pitchers that the game EVER saw.
And for that loss... just like Bob Feller and Ted Williams' stats that never happened... what are they really? They're the same sacrifices that many men have made and never heard about in the same way because they couldn't throw a fast ball or hit a home run.
To this, Bob Feller said it best:
"Baseball is only a game, a game of inches and a lot of luck. During a time of all-out war, sports are very insignificant. Life comes down to honesty and doing what's right. That's what's most important. Our Constitution is more important than baseball."

Mark Buehrle

And so the news states that Mark Buehrle and his wife Jamie wished injury to Michael Vick last season in his comeback in Philadelphia. To this, we ask: who didn't?
OK, so there was Obama calling to congratulate Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie because he gave Vick a second chance (as opposed to calling the mother of a slain U.S. soldier named Sean Collins whose death notice letter was botched up). Now, we're not calling for the death penalty for Vick (we'll leave that to Tucker Carlson), but let's just say that if it wasn't for the karma effects, we'd be wishing constant ill to Michael Vick.
The issue of animal rights is a touchy one, and we're not vegetarian as some would claim one would need to be to defend animal rights and not be hypocritical, but in looking at brutal thug like behavior, even people who hunt, ranch, or shop in the meat department at Wal Mart can pretty much all get together and say that what they see is wrong and vicious blood lust is just uncalled for.
Now, I'm not quite sure why the Buehrle's statement is news. Perhaps, the media seeks to paint their whiteness as racist and wanting to go against the second chance atmosphere of America that is opening up to wanting to pay big time cash for Vick's autograph again (not me; I passed on that stuff when I went to my last baseball card show in December). Perhaps, they want this architect of a perfect game a few short years ago to be seen as vindictive above and beyond the call of duty. No matter what, let's just say that what they do for injured dogs shows their kindness and generosity while Vick remains, Vick... released from prison, shown that he can't do whatever he wants, and humbled a little bit as his whole financial world was crumbled as a result of his thinking he owned the world.
And perhaps this is another key difference in baseball and football. Sure, there's a sense of entitlement to hoochies and strippers in all fields of endeavor that cater to male star power. So it goes. However, the unchecked aggression that exists in football tends to permeate out of the game and into real life. This isn't about a sport where Pete Rose slides into home to win a game; this is a sport that created OJ Simpson.
And this isn't meant to knock football, but rather it is written to say that as humans, we have a certain responsibility. We'd say the same thing if Chipper Jones was impregnating a Hooters girl despite being "happily" married, which he did. Uncool. Don't be an asshole. Don't needlessly hurt anything. That's just part of being a human. And when you're done, do your part to make up for being a scumbag. Expect people to dis you for what you did. Don't ever expect people to forget - even if you've gotten better. Roberto Alomar and Juan Marichal would agree that this happens.
I know it's not fair, but it is what it is. You were given millions to be a hero and a role model - no matter what Willie Wilson thinks the job should entail. Act like one.
As George Orwell would say, "A sahib has to act like a sahib."

Jim Thorpe

There's something about the spectacle that is the Superbowl. The pomp, the circumstance, the hype, and the hope that 2 teams can come together in an epic clash and make it all the way to the end of the 4th quarter and still be going strong enough that they both have a chance to win because that's what it's all about.
Somewhere in the game is a minor league carnival of whatever. While there aren't T-shirt cannons and crazy ostrich riders / hot dog vendors, there is still enough "other stuff" that people who don't care about football can enjoy the jubilation of Rah Rah America Kicks Ass Day (if Obama really wants to impress me, he'll rename Superbowl Sunday as such and make the next day an official half day like they did when I was in the Air Force (at least in the early 1990s at the European clinic I worked at with regards to all un-necessary personell since the game was televised VERY late at night on AFN)).
But the Superbowl is the epitome of America. Baseball really can't compete with the "general public" though George Carlin was right about it. Baseball's spectacles just aren't the same since the death of Bill Veeck. The World Series is 7 games and it's not do or die. The All-Star Game (in baseball as in all sports) is a series of spectacles and some applause for who was announced with no Pete Rose / Ray Fosse moment since it's all about being owned by the team and to play one's heart out in a game that doesn't count towards the standings... anathema! Well, at least it is for modern players.
Back in the day, athletes could be great and play 2 sports. Danny Ainge was a Blue Jay, but he chose the Celtics instead, which was a good choice because the Celtics were dominant in the Larry Bird era. Bo Jackson bled his heart out on two fields and made Buck O' Neil salivate over the sound of his bat (unfortunately, I never heard this because I was young and in England and totally un-concerned with the sports whose trading cards I grew up with).
Jim Thorpe who became the new namesake for the town of Mauch Chunk (the best place to spend a weekend in eastern PA HANDS DOWN as it offers fine dining, cultural entertainment, river adventure, waterfalls, ghosts, and antiques all in one cozy 19th century Swiss styled town) was also a 2-sport athlete after getting hosed out of his gold medals in the 1912 Olympics because he played baseball. Nevertheless, this half Native American went on to be gushed over by the Associated Press as the greatest male athlete of the first part of the 20th century (1950) in much the same way King Gustav drooled over him way back when he was still getting ready to dominate in the Olympics. ABC did them all one better by declaring him the greatest athlete of the 20th century.
Johnny Come Latelies aside, the rectifying of his gold medals in 1982 restored the memory of this great athlete to where it should have always been.
However, more people remember 2-sport athletes like Deion Sanders and his flashy personality than do Jim Thorpe, which is a shame as it shows our tunnel vision for the now instead of the past. It's kind of like looking at the Black Eyed Peas halftime show as an example of great music. Sure, Will I Am and Usher's "OMG" is a great pop song. So is "Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night." However, their live show... nicht so gut. Seeing Slash playing with Fergie, who is perhaps the WORST performer in the history of performances (she's not attractive, she can't sing, she can't dance - it's the trifecta of uselessness) was a sad state of mainstream music in 2011. I know that the last couple of performances were largely white rock since the Wardrobe Malfunction, but c'mon...
It's bad enough that the Superbowl didn't even try to get glitzy until they used George Burns and Mickey Rooney in 1987. In 1991, they switched it up with New Kids on the Block, and in 1993, the self-proclaimed King of Pop, who we just look at as a permanent scumbag, but alas, I digress... and half time shows were now even more important than the game (just not the commericals that now cost around $3million for 30 seconds). But one again, c'mon. Can we not do better than Fergie? Can Will I Am not kick her to curb once and for all?
One can only hope (not that baseball's choice of musicians to raise the roof is that great since they used Counting Crows who despite having one of the greatest CDs ever (August and Everything After) were 12 years removed from being good, and even then, they weren't in their element, which is whiney introspective pop.
But yes... here's to the joy of the Superbowl- even if it's a spectacle where we get sucked into rooting for Thug Ben because we draw a $25 chance to win if the Steelers win (and we end up hating him EVEN more).
And here's to minor league baseball - because it's still baseball - the greatest sport in the world.

Jason Isringhausen

Jason Isringhausen used to be the closer with the St. Louis Cardinals. In 2004, he accumulated 47 saves. I know that I've always said that saves are over-rated, but let's be honest, it's nicer for the Cardinals to have Isringhausen or a guy like him at the end than someone temporary and unreliable like Juan Acevedo.
In the end, the thoughts here aren't about Jason's past or future. They're just about the fact that I can look them up online and I don't have to feel like my ISP is going to shut down on me and leave me completely without FOX, ESPN, Hotmail, Blogger, Facebook, and whatever other sites I go on every day. It's going to be there.
Let's be honest; in America, if the Internet came crashing down, we'd have a rebellion of everyone 12-25 who couldn't get into their status and there would be bloodshed everywhere. I'm sure a lot of people younger and older than that would get really irate as well. I know how I feel when I can't get into my Hotmail because they're updating the site AGAIN. I don't get angry about not being able to access the rumor mill. Sure, it's nice to know that Isringhausen is in comeback mode after injuries last year, but that's the kind of mindless activities that I use to fill what I do and don't do with my days.
In the words of Bruce Hornsby, that's just the way it is.
Baseball and Egypt have very little in common save a trip at the end of 1913 that took Chicago White Sox players on a tour of the world and landed them in front of the Sphinx for a classic picture. Nevertheless, the world didn't accept baseball, save the South and Central American world and Asia, so our gift was just marked return to sender, but at least we had pictures to prove that we tried.
Baseball and Egypt come together in 2011 as we here at this website think about how much our love of the game depends on communications with the outside world and the Internet. At this point, Egyptians are completely without these basic "rights" as they protest an oppressive government while we bask in the ability to look at the comings and goings of peripheral players that don't matter at all. our lives are completely different than theirs. There are no tanks on Park Avenue in Ephrata. There may be piles of inconvenient snow, but there are no riot police looking to bash our brains in for disagreeing with the iron rule of Hosni Mubarek. I would say that's a pretty good thing. Nevertheless, with the threat of rising gas prices, we will probably feel a ripple effect from a situation we'll never know.
That said, there is just something inside me that is thankful to live in a country where even though the right and left disagree, we're not coming to be on the verge of a civil war. If we want to get rid of Obama in 2012, we will. If we like him, we'll keep him. He's not basically going to run against himself and install one of his daughters as president when he's done in 20 odd years.
Life in America is pretty good, and I'm happy to say that my chief worry is starting lineups and baseball history.