Manny Ramirez

If the whole Lady Gaga thing wasn't already on overload and annoying as hell (because let's be honest, short of one song - "Speechless" - that she actually plays on, she's a much less talented rip off of Madonna)... we now get Baby Gaga, which is actually breast milk ice cream.
Lady Gaga has threatened to sue the British manufacturers over the flavor of ice cream.
Whether she will be successful or not, the Brits seized the ice cream and tested it to make sure that it was OK for human consumption and found that it is.
In addition, the store owner Matt O' Connor has fired back: "She claims we have 'ridden the coattails' of her reputation. As someone who has plagiarised and recycled on an industrial scale, the entire back catalogue of pop-culture to create her look, music and videos, she might want to re-consider this allegation."
We can only hope that something sane comes of this, but until then, we'll let anyone who wants to pay $22 for this "delicacy" to keep on keeping on. We'll go back to our own lives and contemplate weirdness on terms that we can relate to...
Manny Ramirez being Manny Ramirez.
In this, Manny has already been definitively studied (Bill Simmons did that), but let us say that since he has a new home - Tampa Bay - we have to wish him the best.
Since his days of getting ostracized by my wife for not paying his child support (back at the Jake in Cleveland when he was a member of the Indians), he went on to massive success unparalleled in Boston. He was a grand slam machine (tied with A-Rod for 2nd to Lou Gehrig all time). He was instrumental in winning the World Series in 2004 and 2007. He was David "Big Sluggi" Ortiz's lovable and idiotic sidekick with those really bad dreadlocks. He would blow easy plays in the outfield while making difficult plays. He would urinate inside the Fenway Park scoreboard during a game. He would demand trades, and then, he finally got traded to the Dodgers, who he managed to convince that he could be great... until he got injured and got nailed for steroids and then he basically quit on them, too, after getting $40million for 2 years (and they were basically bidding against themselves for his services), so off he went to the White Sox where he really and truly sucked, but he was still Manny being Manny without the offense - just being offensive.
So now, he's back with the other idiot - Johnny Damon - in Tampa Bay as they both look to resuscitate their careers that pretty much dried up after the glory days of the first decade of the 21st century.
And while there is hope... it's really going to be a case of too little too late unless he breaks the grand slam record or hits .350, and at this point in his career... without sexual enhancers or whatever it it was that he used when and Big Sluggi both seemed to get fingered on the Mitchell Report, there is not going to be a career resuscitation and while Tampa Bay can hope for the best in the year that Carl Crawford walked and they had to bring up rookies and a few older names at league minimum value to keep the few fans that they do have attending, but the reality is...
The weirdness just isn't lovable without production.
I can't wait until the world wakes up to that realization about Lady Gaga as well.

Jason Isringhausen

Jason Isringhausen used to be the closer with the St. Louis Cardinals. In 2004, he accumulated 47 saves. I know that I've always said that saves are over-rated, but let's be honest, it's nicer for the Cardinals to have Isringhausen or a guy like him at the end than someone temporary and unreliable like Juan Acevedo.
In the end, the thoughts here aren't about Jason's past or future. They're just about the fact that I can look them up online and I don't have to feel like my ISP is going to shut down on me and leave me completely without FOX, ESPN, Hotmail, Blogger, Facebook, and whatever other sites I go on every day. It's going to be there.
Let's be honest; in America, if the Internet came crashing down, we'd have a rebellion of everyone 12-25 who couldn't get into their status and there would be bloodshed everywhere. I'm sure a lot of people younger and older than that would get really irate as well. I know how I feel when I can't get into my Hotmail because they're updating the site AGAIN. I don't get angry about not being able to access the rumor mill. Sure, it's nice to know that Isringhausen is in comeback mode after injuries last year, but that's the kind of mindless activities that I use to fill what I do and don't do with my days.
In the words of Bruce Hornsby, that's just the way it is.
Baseball and Egypt have very little in common save a trip at the end of 1913 that took Chicago White Sox players on a tour of the world and landed them in front of the Sphinx for a classic picture. Nevertheless, the world didn't accept baseball, save the South and Central American world and Asia, so our gift was just marked return to sender, but at least we had pictures to prove that we tried.
Baseball and Egypt come together in 2011 as we here at this website think about how much our love of the game depends on communications with the outside world and the Internet. At this point, Egyptians are completely without these basic "rights" as they protest an oppressive government while we bask in the ability to look at the comings and goings of peripheral players that don't matter at all. our lives are completely different than theirs. There are no tanks on Park Avenue in Ephrata. There may be piles of inconvenient snow, but there are no riot police looking to bash our brains in for disagreeing with the iron rule of Hosni Mubarek. I would say that's a pretty good thing. Nevertheless, with the threat of rising gas prices, we will probably feel a ripple effect from a situation we'll never know.
That said, there is just something inside me that is thankful to live in a country where even though the right and left disagree, we're not coming to be on the verge of a civil war. If we want to get rid of Obama in 2012, we will. If we like him, we'll keep him. He's not basically going to run against himself and install one of his daughters as president when he's done in 20 odd years.
Life in America is pretty good, and I'm happy to say that my chief worry is starting lineups and baseball history.

Manny Ramirez

Ok, let's get this straight. Even Manny Ramirez gets a fourth chance.
In a sign that $2million a year for a formerly $20million a year player in free agency is a bargain, the Rays decided that giving Manny (who according to my wife didn't pay his child support when she went to a Cleveland Indians game way back when and heckled him for such) that money was nothing but upside.
If he screws up, it couldn't be worse than giving an outfielder with $2million value the money for 1 year (no incentives either!). If he's productive and healthy (because not being injured and cantankerous is pretty much everything), well then it's everything that Mannywood was supposed to be in Los Angeles except it's in the Tropicana and it's all comeback against the Red Sox who let him slip away.
It's hard to say everything about Manny that truly needs said. Something about using steroids and trying to blame it on sexual performance enhancers didn't have us believing. Hell, he's not on my short list of people who I would bat an eyelash over:
1. Cal Ripken Jr.
2. Derek Jeter
3. Ichiro Suzuki
4. Albert Pujols
5. Mariano Rivera
6. Curt Schilling
This is especially true when both he and Big Sluggi - the hitter formerly known as David "Big Papi" Ortiz, who is now just hanging around Boston for no good reason and past memories (but we do remember the good things and I've got your jersey to prove it) were nailed for the PEDs. I can literally remember being with my friend Dale sitting in the restaurant of an off track wagering place watching the news come up on a television screen. Oh... big sluggers nailed for steroids... hmm...
Hell, most things that Manny did had us wanting to ship him out as soon as possible. The Bill Simmons column on him explains everything in such vivid detail, you should just read that.
Two years in LA. Lots of money coming his way. The future is wide open, only it's not.
From 19 home runs in LA in 2009 to 9 home runs in LA and Chi-Town in all of 2010 in just over 270 at bats (those pesky injuries)... it's a curse... something like that. The year of the pitcher... or not. Not that 350 at bats the year before was much better. That's over $40million well spent.
So perhaps that's why Johnny Damon is getting more and the offer of incentives... potential upside (whereas Manny is all hope).
Manny turning it all around... it's a nice story. We want to write it. Really.
Scott Boras and Manny really want us to write it.
Will we?
Time will tell.