Bill Bergen

Andre Ethier part 2... oh, how the mightily above average have fallen.
The streak hits 30 and stops there.
So it goes.
But alas, when one gets thirty games in a row, that's the mark of success, but when one fails 46 times in a row and has a career average of .170, that's the mark of futility.
I guess you can call him the 2011 Jason Varitek of his day. He was a good backstop that called the game well, but in the end... he never hit above .200. Too bad because he never had a George Brett character (or Bruce Bochte and Tom Paciorek) to playfully create a Mendoza Line in the stats to remember him by.
From 1901-1911, he played the game and finished with no seasons above the Mendoza Line. He hit 2 home runs in his storied career, and while that may have got him some lovin' from the ladies, I'm sure it made a couple of pitchers want to jump off of the Brooklyn Bridge. The first of these was in his rookie year with the Reds, and the second one was 8 years later with the Brooklyn Superbas whose legend is almost as lost as Bergen's is.
Nevertheless, he is the epitome of failure in major league history, and that is saying something. Maybe with that being said, his backstop ability to call pitches is better than that of Jarrod Saltalamacchia, whose non-ability just continues to amaze all who wonder how Boston could be so free spending on everyone from Daisuke Matsuzaka to Wacky Lackey and not pony up for someone with more upside than "if he works out, the sub 7 figure contract will seem like a bargain and make up for the adventure story that is played every time Daisuke gets to 2 strikes and can't close the deal.
Yep... Bergen was something in his day, and perhaps it was an act of niceness that he stuck around. Compared to Mark Reynolds' over-priced and high strikeout self (or Austin Jackson for that matter), Bergen's one in 7 K rate for a career is still better than 1 every 3 or less for some of the free swinging no power hitters of 2011. Granted, he's not Ted Williams (27) or Joe Dimaggio (13) in 1941, but we can't always have a choice to choose between the .400 guy or the guy with 56 games in a row (or 74/75 games that he hit in).
But if Ethier is our mark of success, let us wish him well. If he's a flash in the pan... this year's Willie Tavarez, at least he topped it out and got to 30 games.
That is saying something.

Clay Bucholz

Winning 2 games in a weekend series against the Yankees is cause for celebration UNLESS you come out of the weekend 2and7. Then, you still need to assess the failings and contemplate the future without some of the dead spots in the lineup. Sure, the first week of the season isn't reason to hit the panic button, but you can lose a season in April even if you can't win one before the final stretch run winds to a complete standstill and playoff tickets are truly punched (ask the 2010 San Diego Padres). So what do the Red Sox and their anemic pitching staff do: They give Clay Bucholz a mega contract. (according to ESPN) The contract calls for Buchholz to be paid $3.5 million in 2012, $5.5 million in 2013, $7.7 million in 2014, and $12 million in 2015, according to the source. With a modest signing bonus and buyout language, the contract guarantees him $29,945,000, a major league source said. Both option years call for a salary of $13 million, although there is an escalator clause that could push the second option year to $13.5 million. So let's see what exactly he's being rewarded for - 4 runs in 3.2 innings (Nolan Ryan would not be proud) and a 7.20 ERA for the season. Sure, the first game was close, but this game... not so much as the Yankees won a laugher 9-4. Then again, let's look at the Boston Red Sox great sewer of waste that makes the US budget debate that sees America wondering if our governmnet will be shut down AGAIN seem tame by comparison. After crapping the bed at the beginning of last year, Josh Beckett got 4 years and $68 million. Of course, this is because the rapidly imploding John Lackey stol $82.5 million over 5 years. Jon Lester is signed through 2013 with an option for $13 million in 2014 with $30 million over 5 years. The great waste of a green card that is Daisuke Matsuzaka convinced the Red Sox to shell out $52 million for 6 years. This doesn't include the $51,111,111 negotiating fee that Theo Epstein and crew paid to negotiate with his agents to bring his ink to the contract. But it's all about the cause for celebration at the moment... and last night, the Red Sox got 16 base runners in a 4-0 win against the Yankees on a great game by Josh Beckett. Never mind that they teed off on CC Sabathia's lard ass (9 hits, 4 walks over 5.2 innings) in a way that managed to scare more fans than Matsuzaka ever could, but yeah... a win is a win, even if the game was still 1-0 at the end of the 6th and required opening a can of whoop ass on Joba the Hutt's rapidly waiver ready self. Fortunately, the Red Sox come out of their weekend of rescuing their worst season since Harry Truman was in the White House with a series with the Tampa Bay Rays, who are now 1-8 and in no position to do much with Evan Longoria out and the promise of Manny Ramirez up in smoke (or PEDs). With any luck, that might help them move up the list as they chase after a hot Baltimore team (even if they did lose 2 of 3 to the RED HOT Rangers who are 8-1 and looking to avenge their failing to win the World Series last year). And so continues week 2 of the season.

Kevin Millar

Back in 2003, Kevin Millar led the Red Sox to victory, and despite 1 12th inning home run off of Tim Wakefield's ugliest knuckle, there was still a feeling of MAYBE NEXT YEAR for real in all of the pain that came with that sucker punch over the Green Monster, which devastated the Fenway Faithful more than any long ball had since Bucky Bleepin' Dent. It was such a moment for Yankees fans that even though they had their asses kicked at home, they felt a sense of moral victory with that shot that it ended up in Drew Barrymore's "Hey, you have brain damage!" video in 50 First Dates. However, somewhere in that transition from COWBOY UP to IDIOTS, the Red Sox pulled it together for 4 wins on the brink of elimination and then swept the Cardinals.
It was the most magical of moments, and even after Millar left the Sox, there was a feeling that his cheerleader self needed to retire to be a bench coach in Boston (instead, he eventually retired to be an MLBTV host). He was the same glue that held the Red Sox together for their run to the top in much the same way as Jason Varitek did. Sure, there was Pedro for those early years, but after the "daddy" comment (so depressing, we won't even repeat it in its entirety), it was all over. Carrying a super little person around (2 foot 4 - Nelson De La Rosa), there was a sense of the circus as the Sox cast a few loose ends away and rode into a 2nd championship in 2007. Life was good, and even if Millar wasn't there, Manny Ramirez and Big Papi still were.
Life felt good until Manny went AWOL. Maybe this always was. Maybe it was as Millar said - "Manny being Manny," but there was something uglier in there. Drugs? Steroids? General insanity? Selfishness? All of the above? We don't know, but we do know he quit on 3 teams and seemed to be heading for a 4th when he retired today.
Of course, this was due to a 2nd drug bust. The last one was obviously just what he said it was - sexual medication. The supposed non-bust for being on the 2003 list of drug busts - that was also nothing. And in the end, that's what it was - an unofficial / official black eye. This time, his 50 game suspension would have been small potatoes as he was looking at a 100-game suspension in a season he was crapping the bed with a 1/17 start - but there was that final RBI... yeah.
And it's all over now, Manny.
As the Red Sox finally beat the Yankees for their first win of 2011, Jon Papelbon did something right (save the game in order in the 9th) as Dustin Pedroia's 3 hit day propelled the offense in spite of Wacky Lackey giving up 6 runs in 5 innings for a victory that was more due to a solid offense starting to wake up (12 hits / 9 runs) with a tee ball session off of Phil Hughes (out after 2 innings). Had they faced Bartolo Colon from the beginning, he of the healthy mid section, they would have been licking more wounds, but after Lackey left, the Yankees went to sleep. Alas, the weekend series moves on and so does life - its' just that now there won't be any more Manny Ramirez to kick around. Hell, he's done himself in for the Cooperstown vote despite 555 long balls. So much for magic numbers guaranteeing admission to the hallowed halls.

Terry Francona

While I watched a little bit of the Giants vs. the Dodgers on Thursday, I hadn't really gotten to truly sit down and watch baseball until last night. Unfortunately, being a Boston fan, my worst fears were realized as the Red Sox pitching was taken to the woodshed like a red-headed stepchild on a Sunday afternoon. Wacky Lackey let up 9 runs in less than 4 innings to a Texas team that just slams the ball around with total disregard for whatever pre-season rank that the team that they are playing against is supposed to have. Sure, Nelson Cruz, Josh Hamilton, Ian Kinsler, Adrian Beltre, and Michael Young (not playing yesterday) can really drive the ball, but Elvis Andrus was even 3 for 5. Yorvit Torrealba had a home run, and before it was done, the game was 12-3, though Jacoby Ellsbury had his first long ball since 2009 (he was out all of 2010).
And in the end, the decisions of Terry Francona ALWAYS come back to haunt the team. In the 4th inning, he walked Hamilton to load the bases for Beltre, and WHAM! (an excellent expression of onomatopoeia if ever there was one), grand slam and the Ballpark at Arlington is screaming and it's a celebration that Kool and the Gang would be proud of (because they are celebrating good times in Texas - it's not like the days of 3 and done in the division series against the Yankees as Juan Gone and Pudge aren't enough against the Yankees in da Bronx and there are no Texas pitchers who can withstand whatever onslaught is brought out against them.
This Texas team is for real, and Boston, while only 2 games in, is suffering from what I knew they would - a better pitching staff on paper than in reality.
The night before, Jon Lester gave up 3 home runs for the first time in his career. Mike Napoli and Kinsler each had one, and Nelson Cruz hit the first of his two home runs, so he's off to another sick OPS early season - as long as he doesn't get hurt.
Today is Clay Bucholz, who does have an upside, but as the week progresses, we get to wonder which Josh Beckett we'll see. I don't know if I believe in him. I do know that I have from time to time, but I don't go into the game easy - it's not as bad as the Daisuke adventure experience that sees a pitcher able to throw 150 pitches a game - mainly because he throws so many damn outside pitches that do result in walks or near walks. It's also not the knuckle ball of Tim Wakefield that baffles some hitters and leaves others (Cruz) to deposit it far behind the outfield wall. It's a pitcher who has been figured out and injured and beaten. For all of the heroics, there are too many questions.
And for that, it's hard to have a leader who sits calm in the dugout doing what Theo tells him. A man who is still around because Curt Schilling wanted him there and he's still there because Boston happened to win it all in 2004 and 2007, much the same was as Ozzie Guillen is because he won for the first time since 1919 when he took his title in 2005.
Sure, it's nice to see Big Sluggi hit a home run in both his first and second game so we don't have to wait forever for him to get started offensively. Sure, he hit a home run last year on April 23rd, but he was sub Mendoza until May 10. The year before, his first home run came May 20th, but he didn't press so hard and he was over Mendoza for good on April 20th. A notoriously slow starter, David Ortiz has seen better days, and once again, he's someone whose personality exceeds his current abilities. But that said, people not named Terry Francona are wising up to it. he's also looking pathetic in striking out (twice already - it's not the league lead - 5 - but it's not a good sign when he can't see how over the plate his called whiffs are). Jay Z for one is not putting up with the Sluggster stealing his intellectual property.
And this is not to say that David Ortiz wasn't once the hero, but it is saying that he didn't deserve an All Star appearance last year - hell, he didn't deserve a thank you contract in 2011. He needs to retire to greener pastures and get on with phase 2 of his adult life.
But that would involve a certain manager who can't make his own decision benching him.
And if that manager can't keep big name pitchers who have seen better days not getting huge contracts and not getting new life blood into the Boston pitching staff, you can bet that it's going to be a long season.