Joba Chamberlain

So if this is the last hurrah of Joba the Hutt, the fist pump, the failed starter, the middle reliever / heir apparent or maybe not to Mariano Rivera, and if this is the point that his Tommy John Surgery keeps him from being the man that he was destined to be... what will we remember?
Will we remember that his real name is Justin? More importantly, will we really care? After all, even as a Yankee hater, we have to say that Joba is far cooler anyway.
We will probably remember the rules that so befuddled Mr. Torre. There was a day off for every inning that the 21 year old (at the time) Joba pitched. He had that time off before and that time off after he came into the game. Can't have too much work on a young arm, which makes sense, but all the same, this is baseball. Are we really coddling young players so much that it takes forever to adjust them to the majors when the time comes? OK, don't answer that question.
For a team that doesn't have that many heatlhy or effective or youthful pitching options, to lose a guy like Chamberlain is scary for what the Yankees will have to do (spend LOTS and LOTS on iffy free agents like CC Sabathia and Josh Beckett, trust in Ivan Nova, Bartolo Colon, + Freddy Garcia, pray for Phil Hughes' arm to rise from the dead and a nearly 14.00 ERA). For a Yankee hater like myself, it means that we can focus on Boston's success and Tampa Bay's emergence. Both of those are happy thoughts, by the way.
The Midges, which many will remember from that fateful game on October 5, 2007... now that's something altogether different. We will remember them bringing Cleveland's hopes and prayers to life again as they brought in a run that effectively devastated the Yankee playoff chances that year and almost allowed the Indians to get to the World Series (losing 3 straight to Boston to keep that from happening).  We will see them swarming Joba on the mound and making the wild pitch possible.
Will we remember the 0.38 ERA that first year? The 19 games with 1 earned run and 2 runs? The utter finality of his appearance in the game until (thank you!) Boston's Mike Lowell put a stake through that vampire's heart with a home run.
There were moments of greatness and promise, and perhaps he can still be great, but will he be the homegrown excellence of Rivera, Jeter, Posada, Pettite, and Williams? Or will he be just another story, another shirt to show the kids to let them know that you were there through the good times (as opposed to a Rickey Henderson Yankees jersey for the ugly years)?
We wish him well at recovery because let's be honest... it's going to be fun to tee off on him in 2013.

Carlos Beltran

Every now and again, the sun even shines on a sleeping dog's ass.
Big Sluggi (the designated former favorite player of Beantown) seems to be back. He had a great game last night and raised his average to .295, his homers to 7, and his RBIs to 19. Hell, he has as many walks as strikeouts (19) and is nowhere near as futile as he has been at this time in years past. And last night, he had a great game in helping the Red Sox kick the holy hell out of the Yankees for a weekend sweep and a .500 record for the season - albeit with a performance against a team in the decline... a team that is looking to one of it's former greats and saying (in the words of Buster Olney):
The bottom line is that Posada is 39 years old and failing at the last task the Yankees' decision-makers believe he can handle: being a designated hitter. The only thing saving his job this morning is his two decades of history with the franchise.
It's a sad day when a team has to kick its former star to the curb.
But it's only REALLY a sad day when a team isn't prepared for the what ifs... take Minnesota who is in dire need of plastic sheets to avoid bed crapping supreme (that would be the fault of the 2 Joes - Mauer getting injured and Nathan just being lousy) as they went down this weekend to the Blue Jays and Jose Bautista who jacked 3 souveniers out to the customers in Sunday's game alone. I know that I didn't believe in him before, but he seems to be in the groove in the relative obscurity of Toronto, which is nice - as long as he doesn't think he can parlay that power into a move south of the northern border.
This weekend was quite a weekend for former Royals going on a 3 homers in one game tear.
With a 3 for 5 performance (all long balls) on Friday, Carlos Beltran showed that he still has a little wiggle in his stride. That said, he's batting .285 as of this fine Monday morning, but it was a weekend to make the Mets remember why they paid the big money to get him after his 8 homer / over .400 batting average performance in the 2004 playoffs against Atlanta (who everyone beats in the playoffs) and St. Louis (who Houston couldn't beat).
Of course, those were different days for Carlos Beltran. He had a fair bit of pop and a hell of a lot of upside. Then again, he was playing for Kansas City, and when he got traded to Houston for the stretch run, he jacked 23 dingers and hit .258 with 53 RBIs in a potent lineup. He quickly signed with the Mets, which is a place where dreams come to die (and injuries pile on like trash in the Hudson). Pedro Martinez, Carlos Delgado, Johan Santana, and Luis Castillo are just a few, though fans and followers seem to have many more choices of who the worst Met signing is, but this isn't about the worst - it's about getting out from under bad decisions.
That said, Beltran's 7 years haven't been all hard time. The first 4 years had some power and some bat, but the last few years... half and 1/3 seasons just make the team wonder what they were paying for. Was he really going to hit 40 home runs and bat .300 every year? Would he patrol center field with a fine toothed comb and shag all of the nasty fly balls that came his way, or would he prove to be what most things that do well in media obscurity truly do when the light of the Big Apple shines on them?
That said... it seems like he's just trying to play his way out of the Mets lineup, which would be nice for them if they could get some return for the next few years and ship him to a contender, where he can just be free to decide if he'll come back or not next year - provided he doesn't get injured and provided he can continue to hit... which are 2 big ifs.
One definite thought being... he won't get 7 years, $119million - no matter what kind of potential he has with the decline he's already showing.

Jorge Posada

Normally, and by normally, I mean if I wasn't married to my wife or hoping for a relationship (as was the case for Game 6 of the 2003 World Series - the one where Beckett lights out-ed the Yankees - I did see the end of that one with the pile on celebration after the date sucked), I would be spending the entire weekend draped in a Red Sox jersey over my "certified Yankee hater" shirt, wishing death on the Evil Empire.
Several things have changed this:
1) On December 1, 2007, I met my wife. She's awesome and I'd rather go see Brides maids with her than watch a "relatively meaningless" season game. Granted, it counts in the standings and for the total of wins against each other per year (if we end up tied and have to determine post season home advantage), but alas... it's just not the same as it used to be.
2) In those days before my wife, the Red Sox had won one World Series, and until then, things were even worse. Hell, let's be honest. Things were worse because of the win, but the second win...
3) The year the Yankees didn't even make the playoffs (2008)...
4) The fact that it's hard to be attached to this group of players... many who weren't even around for either team's historic runs... and if they are, they're older than velociraptors...
So yeah...
Here we are in da Bronx and the Red Sox are officially victors in the first 2 games of the series. While the first game got close at the end, the 2nd game was a 6-0 laugher, and well, that's really what it is.
The reality here is not in the box score... it's in the aging of the old guard as Jorge Posada asked out of the lineup as his average rises to .165 after being as low as .125 at the end of April. There are 6 home runs, but in 108 at bats, there are only 18 total hits.
He's not the only one.
Derek Jeter is at .267 with 2 home runs.
Mark Teixeira is at .254 with 9 home runs.
Alex Rodriguez is at .252 with 6 home runs.
Curtis Granderson and his .281, 12, 26 line is the star. Even Robinson Cano isn't leading the team yet. Did I jinx the guy by picking him for fantasy (.279, 9, 25)?
In the beginning, the Red Sox and the Rays were 0-6, but both rebounded. Now, the Rays are in first place and they're cold kicking ass on all opponents. While not as good as Philly or Cleveland (and Cleveland is actually the 2nd best team - by default of playing one less game than the Phillies), we can see that there is a new guard in baseball that isn't including the money teams (well, save Philly, which is somehow moving around Ryan Howard's move to #2 in strikeouts to ride his hits and homers to victory).
For a team that played tough against Texas (4 wins), they lost 2 to Kansas City in the stadium. They've lost 4 of 5 to the Red Sox, and today, they face the Sox with Freddy Garcia on the hill against Jon Lester and a Boston team that is trying desperately to get to .500 (while 19-14 since the 0-6 start of the season, they're below the mark, and frankly, every time they've been getting to .500, they always find a way to phone it in and stay mired below.
Is today the game that they go otherwise? Or is this the continued loss of power from a once great dynasty / stable of big contracts?

Jesus Monterro

Like Bill O' Reilly, we're always looking out for you, and like his parent company, Fox News, we try to be fair and balanced, so if we say how A-Rod did something good one day (inviting a hero gal to a Yankees game), it's only fair that we mention that he owns a property company called Newport Property Ventures, and because of his inability to fix up the property has some property owners referring to him as a slumlord. So in the spirit of all things Yankees, let's take a look at the Evil Empire and see where they stack up for the year - other than A-Rod who may end up playing with Ricky Vaughn in the California Penal League. First things first, we should see their catcher who is literally older than the dinosaurs. Yes, Jorge Posada will still be catching because Jesus Monterro just wasn't ready to play in the majors - yet - is 39 years old. Looking at some of his other teammates from the Golden Age of Yankees on Fox as slobbered over by Jack Buck, they're not faring much better. Rivera is 41. Jeter is 36. Bernie, Tino, O' Neil, Pettite, Wells, Cone, Stanton, Knoblauch, Justice, Brosius, Spencer, and Nelson are retired. Jason Grimsley is a felon. Jose Canseco and his minimal time in pinstripes isn't far behind him. And that's it... really. There aren't many guys still playing, and there definitely aren't many guys who made up that team. Let's shore up who still is there... Bartolo Colon, who is conservatively weighing in at 185 (they must have given some of his extra girth in years past to CC, who is listed at 290), is there, but this isn't 2002), represents the Yankees' inability to tell time. Hence, Freddy Garcia, Mark Prior, Eric Chavez, and Andruw Jones are all hanging out on the team for opening day. Hell, other than Robinson Cano, there is NO new lifeblood on this team. For that, I'm thankful because I'd like to see the Yankees fall far out of contention quickly this year. An 11-19 start that is never recovered from would be nice. It's time to see some fair weather fans of da Bronx Bombers suffer endlessly that year. But that might just be me. That said, if Joba the Hutt (he of the midge attraction) can't find whatever made him special enough to get his own set of rules, there might only be Phil Hughes and his non-post season upside to spark a youth movement in New York. Imagine that... they'd have to go out and invest in all free agents to have a chance of winning. A second generation Steinbrenner do that? Whoda thunk it?

Bob Gibson

There's something about watching a pitcher dominate a game that really says what a baseball game can be. I can still remember Pedro Martinez coming in to Baltimore in May of 2000 and annihilating the Orioles in a 15 strikeout 2 hit masterpiece complete game shutout (this became Bill Simmon's "Pedro and the Pantheon" in the book Now I can Die in Peace). The Orioles fans were gone, and Pedro was on mop up duty for that one. However, Pedro's best game was his perfect game that wasn't - June 3, 1995. He was still an Expo (and there still were Expos in baseball at the time). He made it 9 innings and 1 batter into the 10th, he let up a hit. Like Harvey Haddix, he was betrayed by an equally great opponent (Joey Hamilton, who let up 3 hits). However, his Expos won. Haddix's Pirates... not so much. Lew Burdette went 13 innings of shutout ball (and 12 hits, no walks) to win a shutout while Haddix let up 1 hit and 1 walk - enough to lose the greatest game ever pitched (registered trademark).
Larry Walker, an Expo at the time, said it best about Pedro...
"You just don't expect a guy weighing ninety-seven pounds to throw ninety-nine miles an hour. He's just very aggressive. I never really watched Bob Gibson pitch, but I get the feeling he's like a Gibson. If he has to throw one under your chin, he'll do it."
And Pedro was a man who owned the plate in the same way as Gibson did. My favorite Pedro moments involve him riling up his opponents. I still contend Don Zimmer got what he asked for. However, the fight with Jorge Posada... classic Pedro. But the best Pedro was starting a game off on August 29, 2000, by smashing a ball into Gerald Williams' hand. Williams got PO'ed and came after Pedro and wailed on him, but for all the anger that he had, the Devil Rays imploded for 8 full innings until God intervened and brought the no hitter (save the hit on Williams' hand) to an end after Pedro's cross necklace broke and he let up a double.
Gibson was much the same way. He owned those 17 inches. Roger Angell said that he was the most formidable and scary pitcher of all time when he spoke about Gibson for Ken Burns' Baseball. He once hit his former room mate high on the chest to show him that they weren't on the same team anymore. In 1968, he had a 1.12 ERA, but somehow went 22 and 9. How a man can do both of those things boggles the mind (save the Cardinals offense). In 1967, he won the World Series on the strength of a home run that he hit - finishing the World Series 3-0 with a 1.00 ERA. The man was a machine and a class act all around.
Summarizing what baseball meant, a pitcher has to get batters off his plate. Be it Pedro, the Big Unit, Bob Gibson, or Sal "The Barber" Maglie. As the Baseball Project sings... "high and inside."
In a game where Barry Bonds could wear tank armor on his arms in getting all of the advantage for home runs, we need something to take the edge away from hitters...
A little chin music will do nicely.